My little son loves role-play these days.

Most often he becomes Mrs Chee (his English teacher) and I am made to be Pan lao-shi, his Chinese teacher (Lao-shi is “teacher” in Chinese). Sometimes I am made to be Dominic (his good friend and classmate) or Javen Liew (another good friend and classmate).

It all sounds very trivia. Until I realized day-to-day events are “narrated” by him so easily during role-play.

I often had difficulty getting him to tell me about his school life – Was he happy in school? Were the kids physical? Did anyone smack him? Were the teachers harsh? Did they punish him unnecessarily (or worse, wrongly?)?… Yes – I’m a terribly concerned mother!

So role-play has become my avenue to find out about things that happened in school.

I just found out that children who jump in class are made to stand in a corner for 2 minutes (though I’m not too sure if it’s really 2 minutes). My little son (aka Mrs Chee) kept his eyes on the clock in the room and only allowed me (aka Dominic) out of the naughty corner after he was satisfied that 2 full minutes had passed (though he doesn’t have any idea what 2 minutes really means).

When I take on the role of “Mrs Chee”, my little son pays a lot more attention to me than when I’m just “mama”.

“I’m Mrs Chee now. Go brush your teeth Jadon. Quick, Javen Liew is next after you. Dominic has already brushed his teeth,” I said.

And my little son trots happily into the bathroom to do just that.

Though I’m not sure how long this will last.

Kids say the strangest things.

The other day my little son told me, “I want to buy a girl, mama”.

“What?!” my eyes nearly popped out.  “Do you mean a doll or a real girl?”

“A real girl” he replied.

My thoughts raced in all directions wondering (1) why my little son thinks he can buy a person; and (2) why a girl?

“Why do you want to buy a girl?” I asked.

“Because I want a girl,” he replied.  And then he continued, “I want to buy a girl.  Can mama?  Please mama?”

“You can’t buy a girl,” I finally said.  “If Kiera’s mama (they are our neighbour) comes over and says she wants to buy you, can mama sell you to her?” I asked

“No,” he said.

“So, we also can’t go over and tell Kiera’s mama that we want to buy Kiera.  Her mama won’t sell her to us.”  I reasoned with him.

The explanation was however not enough for him.

“I want to buy a girl.  Can mama?  Please mama?”  he prodded.. and prodded.. and prodded..

So in the end I conceded and said, “I’ll think about it”.

That pretty much shut him up and he hasn’t popped the question in the last few days.  I just hope it stays that way.

My little son has a love-hate relationship with the son of my close friend.

When they’re apart, they want very much to play together.

When they’re playing together, they inevitably fight.

The other day I went to my friend’s place to fetch her kids over to my place to play.  In the car the easy banter between us all developed into a shouting match over who should speak first – both wanted to talk to poor me (who was concentrating on the road) at the same time.

“I talk first” one would say.

“No!  I first” the other would counter.

“NO I FIRST!!”…

“NO I FIRST!!”…

At my place, they played amicably together for a while and then inevitably one (usually my little son because he is in his own territory) will snatch a toy from the other and a snatching fight would ensue.

Whilst watching Bob the Builder, my son (for whatever reason) sat on his friend’s lap and immediately received a kick in the rear that sent him running tearfully into the kitchen.

The next day, after our little guest had left, my little son told me ,“Mama I want Joshua to come to my house and play”.

Do you call this a love-hate relationship or what?

Lately my little son has the desire to “get inside the TV”.  It first started last week while he was watching Barney.

“Can you bring me inside there please mama?” he asked.

I was taken by surprise by that question.  “Why do you want to go in there?” I asked.  “Because I want three children,” he replied.  He meant he wanted to be the third kid in the show, as there were only two kids with Barney.

This week while he was watching Winne the Pooh & Tigger, he again asked, “Can you bring me inside there please mama?”

I asked him why and he said, “because I want to talk to them”.

“Oh, we can talk to them when they come to the shopping centres,” I said.  “We can’t go inside the TV because there’s nothing inside there.”

I then showed him the back of the TV.  “See, there’s nothing in there.”  I said,  “and Pooh, Tigger and Darby are not real people, they are fake.”

“How about me?” he asked.

“You?  You are real,” I said.

“No!  I don’t want to be real.  I want to be fake!” he declared, upset that he wasn’t the same as Darby or Pooh or Tigger.

Today, just before his nap, he told me “Mama I want you to buy me Darby but not the flat one.  But like us.”

I think he meant he wants a 3-dimentional Darby, not a 2-dimentional one like in the TV.

Or did he mean he wants a real Darby, not a fake one?!!

Not too long ago a good friend of mine recounted to me how her 4-year old son wept silently after being scolded by her.  It broke her heart.

“Oh”, I replied, a little surprised.  You see, my 3-year old little son has never cried after being scolded, no matter how loud or fierce I scream.  In fact scolding has had little effect on him.  Most of the time he just ignores me.  The only time he sits up and listens is when I hold the most feared instrument (aka the cane) in my hand.

But everything changed last week.  We were at the grocers and my little son was at his most irritating self, running and intentionally bumping into me every corner I went, blocking my way and refusing to let me walk. My patience began to wear thin and as soon as we got into the car I just let it all out and ranted at him.  He looked at me and suddenly the side of his mouth curled downwards and he started to sob.

It was like my little son suddenly grew up and words began to have an effect on him.  It’s strange because I’m with him 24/7 and he matured under my nose just like that, and I’m not even sure how and when that happened.

In a way I’m glad.  Glad that I don’t have to resort to the cane to make a point.  On the other hand I realize harsh words could hurt him emotionally so I really have to mind what I say when I’m angry.

He’s suddenly not a toddler anymore.

We celebrated our little son’s 3rd birthday last weekend.  He is a die-hard fan of the Walt Disney movie “Cars” so I got him Mack (the truck that carried Lightning McQueen, the protagonist in the movie).  Needless to say, that got my little son really happy and excited.

He hugged me and told me “Mama I love you because you bought me Mack”.

Which prompted me (and any parent I’m sure) to ask “Would you still love me if I didn’t buy you Mack?”.  “No” came the reply, without any hint of apology, simply as a matter of fact.

That got me really upset and I immediately launched into a lecture of how love ought not be tied to material things… how he should still love me even if I don’t buy him any toys… how love should be unconditional love…Well, that’s easier said than done.  I fumbled to find the right words, the right analogy to explain this as simply as I could.

In the end I got a blank look and a very disinterested 3-year old.  I simply gave up and told him I will talk to him again about this some other time. How do we explain unconditional love to a 3 year old?

“I am a selfish boy” – my little son told me that the other day.

It pains my heart to hear that.  It is one thing to tell a child that his action is selfish and quite another to hear the child regurgitating the same sentiment about himself.  When my little son said that, a sense of guilt just swept over me for making him feel this way about himself.

And this is not the only thing he makes me feel guilty about.  The other day he told me “only you smack me!”.  That’s of course not true.  I just smack him more often than his papa given that I spend 24/7 with him.  But the accusation makes me feel guilty and left me wondering if I am smacking him too often?

And whenever he makes me so angry that I lost it and started roaring at him, I will no doubt be plagued by a guilty conscience after that.  “Mama, you scream at me two times already” was what he told me few days ago.

Parenting, they say, gets tougher as the child gets older.  I am beginning to experience the truth behind the statement.