(Written by Footywife)

Not too long ago a good friend of mine recounted to me how her 4-year old son wept silently after being scolded by her.  It broke her heart.

“Oh”, I replied, a little surprised.  You see, my 3-year old little son has never cried after being scolded, no matter how loud or fierce I scream.  In fact scolding has had little effect on him.  Most of the time he just ignores me.  The only time he sits up and listens is when I hold the most feared instrument (aka the cane) in my hand.

But everything changed last week.  We were at the grocers and my little son was at his most irritating self, running and intentionally bumping into me every corner I went, blocking my way and refusing to let me walk. My patience began to wear thin and as soon as we got into the car I just let it all out and ranted at him.  He looked at me and suddenly the side of his mouth curled downwards and he started to sob.

It was like my little son suddenly grew up and words began to have an effect on him.  It’s strange because I’m with him 24/7 and he matured under my nose just like that, and I’m not even sure how and when that happened.

In a way I’m glad.  Glad that I don’t have to resort to the cane to make a point.  On the other hand I realize harsh words could hurt him emotionally so I really have to mind what I say when I’m angry.

He’s suddenly not a toddler anymore.

Just brought my 2.5 yr old son to watch Dora the Explorer Live at an events hall today.

My wife and I had bought the tickets a few weeks before and we have since been telling our son about it to prepare him for the show. He was quite excited although he had expressed a stronger desire to watch the Barney & Friends show which was also coming to town soon.

Now we have brought him to cinemas to watch 2 movies before and we know he has a fear of entering into dark places with loud noises. That was why we wanted to prepare him mentally about the Dora show, and that was also why we did not purchase the Barney tickets as well, in case he did not take too well to the Dora show.

We knew his weakness.

True to our belief, our dear son had cold feet at the hall entrance. The usher had barely collected our tickets when he froze, then protested and fought against going in. We held the queue up for a good few seconds because we could not persuade him in!

Needless to say, it took some effort to move on to our seats because he was still resisting with his constant wailing of wanting to "go home". We persisted because we wanted him to "go through" his fear, or to put it lamely, we did not want to waste the tickets!

To cut the story short, my wife and I took turns to carry him away from our seats because he was afraid (and yet wanted to watch the show). It was very easy at any point in time for either of us to become frustrated with such timidness. After all, other kids his age were thoroughly enjoying the show.

But I think my wife and I did alright in that we gave him enough hugs and assurances, and in acceding to his request to "get out" from our seats. Most important of all, we were conscious about not wanting to let him feel ashamed about being frightened and then comparing him with other kids.

The day’s event has brought me to a realisation that while we basked in the many talents & strengths our son has (there are just so many, hehehe) we have also got to embrace his weaknesses. We can’t just be proud of the things he does well, and shun or even reprimand "shameful" behaviors which he has no control over.

He Is Special

My son is special, and I am sure you would agree your child is too. So let’s embrace their strengths and weaknesses together. Don’t get angry, frustrated, shameful or worst, make him feel he is alone in his weakness.

After all, we have our own weaknesses too.