Those days, we simply prayed while he lie on his bed and closed his eyes. As he grew older, he started praying in bits and pieces on his own. He also requested that we pray for this issue and that.   One funny request I recall was to pray that he won’t grow up! (Of course footywife and I never said “AMEN” to that!)

Of late, we just need to start the prayer off with, “Dear Lord…”, and he would continue the rest of the prayers from there.

Few nights ago at bedtime, as per routine, I said, “Let’s pray.”

Guess what? He said matter-of-factly, “No need. I told GOD GOD {sic} last night that whatever I have prayed before, He would remember and I do not need to ever pray them again.”

Now I have dealt with “Blanket Approvals” in the corporate world before, but this is my first spiritual enlightenment about BLANKET PRAYERS!

I was brought to the attention of this non-profit agency recently. What is does is to provide free summer vacations to New York City children from low-income communities, letting them enjoy rustic experiences in the country and suburbs, while enjoying the friendly warmth of host families.

Such a visit can make all the difference in the world to an inner-city child…just take a minute and listen to the experience of Brandon Mendoza below:

I am writing this post to help Fresh Air Fund solicit Host families to bring cheers to our deprived city children. Can you help me spread the word and spread some FRESH AIR? Thanks!

My son was doing some coloring at the dining table and I was sitting beside watching him. Footywife and myself had noticed that over the past few months, his coloring skills had improved tremendously, especially in the area where he was supposed to “color within the line”. We were always lavishing praises on him for coloring well.

However in this instance, he seems to have lost a bit of confidence and did not seem to be in the mood to color well. He said, “I can’t do it”, referring to coloring within the lines.

In my enthusiam to encourage him, I said, “Com’mon, don’t give up”.

He immediately caught on the new phrase and said, “I want to give up“, and instantly stopped.

I just thought, “Fantastic… I had just provided that little bit of catalyst to promote despondence.” Hopefully it doesn’t create a lasting impact on him, but he had certainly learned a new phrase.

I just wished I had watched what I said.

One of the topic they touched on was money management.

It was recounted that my sister-in-law was trying to teach Jeanette how to count her money and get her change back after paying for  food during recess breaks. To which Jeanette confidently replied, “no need Mama, it is very easy!”

My sister-in-law was probably pleasantly surprised until she continued,”…. just let them count and return you the money!“

Any better advice?!

My son, needless to say, is no exception. He likes to imitate the things I do. I think I have mentioned previously that I like to roam around the house without my shirt on, and so he follows.

• When I whistle, he asks me how to do it

• When he sees me work at home sometimes, he says wants to be an “office staff” when he grows up! (So much for my dream about him being a professional footballer!)

• When he eats, he chews them deliciously and noisily…just like me

• When I keep his toys, he continues playing!!! (ok, this one is different)

• When he sees me sweeps his toys using my feet, he does the same

This evening when I came back home from a cell group meeting and wanted to keep my shoes in the shoe cabinet, I saw his school shoes had already occupied “my segment”.

Need I say more?

Children learn by seeing what their role models do and aspire to be like them.

The role models’ behaviours are also their definition of what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. If you realize you are one, keep your chins up and be the proud and responsible caregiver. It is a joy when you see your little ones pick up the “good” stuffs from you

Then one day, when we were walking down a shopping street in sunny Singapore, a Caucasian boy with a pair of beautiful green eyes walked past us. The next moment was the killer.

Never in my wildest dream could I have seen this coming…. my son screamed out, “Papa, that boy is color blind!”

I did not know where to hide my face.

PS: By the way, do you know that while color blindness may be seen as a disability, some studies have shown that certain of these individuals could actually penetrate color camouflages better

I was listening to a Joyce Meyer sermon in the car today and the message that screamed aloud was this, “Are today’s children raising themselves up?”

In most of today’s so called “affluent” societies, most families are “Dual Income Families”, where both parents work. Resultingly, the amount of time the children spend with these parents are far shorter compared to those where one of their parent is not working.

And I can’t help but compare the kind of love and attention a stay-at-home mother (SAHM) can give, vis-a-vis those from a caregiver or nanny.  I have heard of cases where children grew up mastering the language of the caregiver instead of those of their parents. How sad.

Granted, if income is tight and both parents need to work, then so be it.

And we are all too aware we would rather that our children grow up in a wholesome environment rather than in one that is “rich” materially, but “poor in the soul”. But most of us seems to end up with our priorties mixed up!

Why?!!?

Ever heard of this conversation between a son and his dad?

Son : Come play with me, Dad
Dad : I need to work son. Who’s gonna pay our bills?

Son ran upstairs to his room and came down very shortly.

Son: How much?
Dad (without looking up and sounding annoyed): What how much?
Son: How much are you paid for your work? Here’s $50. Can you play with me?

My argument is this. He is growing taller and heavier everyday. There will come a day when I will find it too heavy for me to carry him. So while I can, I will agree to his request to carry. It won’t be for that much longer that we can carry them you know? Just 4 to 5 years of their life! To my son’s credit, he doesn’t ask to be carried that often anyway. (Footywife would probably disagree!)

Secondly, as I carry my son, I find that we are building a special bond as we rub our cheeks together and talk with our faces close together.

On the other hand, some of my friends see it differently. They want their children to learn independence and would therefore make a conscientious effort to resist carrying. I do not disagree with that, just that I think independence can still be taught further down the road.

By the way, my son loves sitting on my shoulder now. I suppose I can stretch doing this a little longer than carrying…..kekeke.

The Dad in the Mirror. This is the title of the book I am re-reading. There are so many little gems of fathering advice that I urge all dads to read it.

How often have we heard our children say, “Papa (Mama), I want to be like you”. I am sure most of us have. Of late, I have been hearing this sentence countless times from my 4-year-old son. When I roam around the house without my shirt on, he says he wants to do that. When he sees me sleep with just T-shirt and shorts, he wants to change from his long sleeve pyjamas and shorts too.

Our children yearns for a father figure to lead and to guide them properly. Too often than not, we dads (me included) are totally clueless on how to do so. We father for performance, rather than fathering the heart.

The first gem I got from this book is this, “..when children feel grace and acceptance from their father, their hearts grow strong with a love for GOD and others“. Ponder on this, it is a great piece of advice.

]]> http://www.thechildisking.com/raising-the-child/the-dad-in-the-mirror/feed 0 http://www.thechildisking.com/raising-the-child/roaming-eyes http://www.thechildisking.com/raising-the-child/roaming-eyes#comments Sun, 13 Sep 2009 08:01:20 +0000 Footyman http://www.thechildisking.com/?p=438 (written by footywife)

Quite some time ago my little son came back from school and told me (while pointing to his chest) “Mama, Ms XXX’s chest is like the backside, got a hole”.

I nearly fell off my chair.

“Oh” I said.  “Did you tell Ms XXX that?”

“No” he replied.

The next day I went to school and stole a glance at Ms XXX.  Couldn’t exactly see the cleavage but the bosom does look ample.  My little son must have caught a glimpse of “stuff not meant for his young eyes” when Ms XXX bent down in class.