(written by Footywife)

Lately my little son has the desire to “get inside the TV”.  It first started last week while he was watching Barney.

“Can you bring me inside there please mama?” he asked.

I was taken by surprise by that question.  “Why do you want to go in there?” I asked.  “Because I want three children,” he replied.  He meant he wanted to be the third kid in the show, as there were only two kids with Barney.

This week while he was watching Winne the Pooh & Tigger, he again asked, “Can you bring me inside there please mama?”

I asked him why and he said, “because I want to talk to them”.

“Oh, we can talk to them when they come to the shopping centres,” I said.  “We can’t go inside the TV because there’s nothing inside there.”

I then showed him the back of the TV.  “See, there’s nothing in there.”  I said,  “and Pooh, Tigger and Darby are not real people, they are fake.”

“How about me?” he asked.

“You?  You are real,” I said.

“No!  I don’t want to be real.  I want to be fake!” he declared, upset that he wasn’t the same as Darby or Pooh or Tigger.

Today, just before his nap, he told me “Mama I want you to buy me Darby but not the flat one.  But like us.”

I think he meant he wants a 3-dimentional Darby, not a 2-dimentional one like in the TV.

Or did he mean he wants a real Darby, not a fake one?!!

(Written by Footywife)

Not too long ago a good friend of mine recounted to me how her 4-year old son wept silently after being scolded by her.  It broke her heart.

“Oh”, I replied, a little surprised.  You see, my 3-year old little son has never cried after being scolded, no matter how loud or fierce I scream.  In fact scolding has had little effect on him.  Most of the time he just ignores me.  The only time he sits up and listens is when I hold the most feared instrument (aka the cane) in my hand.

But everything changed last week.  We were at the grocers and my little son was at his most irritating self, running and intentionally bumping into me every corner I went, blocking my way and refusing to let me walk. My patience began to wear thin and as soon as we got into the car I just let it all out and ranted at him.  He looked at me and suddenly the side of his mouth curled downwards and he started to sob.

It was like my little son suddenly grew up and words began to have an effect on him.  It’s strange because I’m with him 24/7 and he matured under my nose just like that, and I’m not even sure how and when that happened.

In a way I’m glad.  Glad that I don’t have to resort to the cane to make a point.  On the other hand I realize harsh words could hurt him emotionally so I really have to mind what I say when I’m angry.

He’s suddenly not a toddler anymore.

(This is written by Footywife)

We went to a Christmas party the other day and my little son brought along his most prized car collection, from the Walt Disney movie “Cars”.

He was playing with them when our friend’s teenage daughter, Geraldine, came along to chat with him.

“What is the name of this car?” Geraldine asked.

“Art-sen” my little son replied instantly.

“Art-sen?” Geraldine repeated.

“Hudson” I chipped in, helping my little son to pronounce the letter “h”.

“Oh, Hudson” said Geraldine. “How about this one?” she asked again.

“Pilmore” my little son replied, somewhat a bit more hesitant.

“Pilmore?” Geraldine asked, looking a little confused.

“Filmore” I chipped in again, helping my little son to pronounce the letter “f” this time.

“Oh, you mean Filmore. How come I don’t understand what you say” Geraldine commented.

Then she pointed to another car and asked the same question.

“I don’t know” came the reply from my little son.

Filmore (2nd from left) ; Hudson (2nd from right)

But I’m sure he knew because he knows all the cars’ names by heart. My interference probably made him feel lousy about his diction as Geraldine could understand me but couldn’t understand him. So he chose to feign ignorance than risk Geraldine not understanding his diction again.

Maybe next time I should shut my big mouth and let my little son carry on the conversation in his own way and see what comes out of it.

Christmas is always a time for Love, Joy & Peace.

Yet I cannot help but begin this countdown to Christmas in memorial of a fellow Singaporean who died innocently, yet tragically, in the recent terrorist attack in Mumbai.

I do not know Lo Hwei Yen personally. I also can never know the extent of grief her closest ones are currently feeling. I only know, as a fellow countryman in this small country, that terrorism has hit home.

And what a time to re-iterate that we truly need more Love, Joy & Peace in the tumultuous world we now live in. Everyone is driven by their own beliefs, some to the deadly extent of sacrificing one’s or worse, others’ lives. Is this THE WAY?

This will take ages to discuss and there will be no conclusion.

I only urge my fellow readers, that as you finished reading this, to firstly say a quiet prayer for Hwei Yen and her family. I truly believe it helps.

Secondly, try keeping the message of PEACE in your heart today. If you are provoked, take a step back and tell yourself, “I want to be a Peacemaker today”. (Remember, if your children see what you are doing, they will follow)

GOD Bless Lo Hwei Yen & her family.

(This is written by my wife)

Last weekend we decided to go to a part of Singapore that we have never been to for ages.

The car, driven by my husband, seemed to be bringing us to obscure places.

“Are we lost?” I asked.

“NO, I am driving in the general direction” was the reply.

I am not sure about you but I can’t make anything out of the reply.

Needless to say, my little son sitting at the back of the car heard everything. Would he pick up the same baffling behavior from his papa?

Well, I surely hope not.

I made two persons laughed heartily today….and they were genuine happy laughters. You could sense these things…whether it was accomodative or truly laughter that brought joy.

And you know what, the happiest person was probably …. ME! It brings me joy when I can made others laugh. (my wife will go,”there he goes again, he and his seemingly altruistic talks”). But surely I believe you would feel the same, wouldn’t you?

So why do people still go around making other people’s life miserable? (another altruistic statement..) Well, because other people made them miserable in the first place.

I can truly empathize with that, because like everyone else, I have certainly come across such situations and couldn’t wait to strangle the other party till his face turns white, then blue, then white again.

“So what are you trying to say, Wise Guy?”

The point of my ramblings is just, well…we should try to make some people laugh each day. I think majority of us do. We try to create light moments here and there, at work or at play. The ones I am targeting are those really grouchy ones, those who never seems to smile.

In fact I would like to hear from them the reason for their grouchiness. Sick? Lack of love? Just Dumped? …whatever. It is good to know, because sometimes people just don’t know what they are grouchy about!

On the other hand, do you know who laugh the most heartily? Yes, children! Hahahaha!

Please don’t deprive them of the joy by always imposing instructions after instructions, restrictions after restrictions upon them.

Take time-outs and laugh silly with them. (I am telling this to myself too)

Laugh you, Silly! Laugh Silly, you! Laugh, laugh, laugh!!!

Yeah…am being lazy with just this simple message.

NO!!!

When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU " to your child?

I believe hearing those words from the parents brings a certain level of security to the child, provided they are not said out of duty/routine and with emotionless regurgitation.

Trust me, our child can detect whether our message is genuine or not. But there is nothing to worry too if we truly mean what we say, our child will know.

Do it with a hearty hug, a super duper peck or a pat on the shoulders. Tell me how you do it please!…It’s not about learning new tricks, but ways to express our love.

Do it the next time you see your child, DON’T WAIT .

Let me know if you have done it today ok?

(this is wrriten by my wife)

One morning I asked my son if he would like to have cocoa-crunch or cocoa-pop for breakfast (not that there’s much difference since both are cornflakes coated with cocoa). He indicated that he would like to have “cocoa-pop”. “OK” I said and proceeded to open the pack.

“I DIDN”T SAY THAT!” he shot back, obviously changing his mind.

I was caught by surprise. Barely 3-years old and he has learnt to deny?

He must have learnt this from school I thought. And in my mind I started blaming the school for all these bad habits that I see in my son.

But wait a minute.. the phase “I didn’t say that” sounds so familiar.. where did I hear it from..

And it suddenly dawned on me that this is a phrase that I often use when I have disputes with our domestic helper. You see, many times when our domestic helper does something that I had not asked her to do, she would insist that I had told her so. Then, I would retort by saying “I DIDN’T SAY THAT!” .

My little son must have witnessed the disputes and picked that phrase from me.

This is indeed a reminder to me to be mindful of my ways because I have a "little sponge" beside me who picks up all my ways, be they good or bad.

(this is written by my wife)

My little son has this habit of calling “papa come” or “mama come” from his bed the first thing he wakes up in the morning. And dutifully I will go into the bedroom to check what he wants. It goes without saying that I am frustrated at being at his beck and call but alas I always concede to avoid the whining and crying that follows when his demands are being ignored.

This morning while I was having my breakfast the familiar “mama come” broke the peaceful silence. I decided not to respond. Hearing no response, he continued his tirade of “mama come.. mama come.. MAMA COME!!!…”

And so, I gave in yet again.

Dutifully I went into the room and was told to
(i) lie down; and
(ii) pat him

URGGG!!! I summon whatever patience and good humor in me and told him as a matter of fact that I was having my breakfast and that I would come back later.

As expected, he said “NO!”.

Normally I would give in at this stage and do as he tells me. Somehow this time I decided to try again and told him I will come back after my breakfast.

To my surprise, as I prepared to leave the room (which was just an act actually) there was no protest (I was actually prepared to stay had he protested) but he actually rolled over to stare into the ceiling and do his own thing.

I continued with my breakfast and pondered over what happened.

Perhaps what our children need is a little bit more perseverance from us.

We should stop treating them like kings! Too often we give in to their demands too soon. And in so doing we rob them of the opportunity to learn to wait, to understand that others have needs and to respect that.

Needless to say when I went back to the room I showered him with lots of praises for being able to wait for others… and he was most happy to be praised.

And yet another episode of CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY SEE… or perhaps what they hear.

My little son came to me this morning and said “Doo-WUW! Do What You Want!”.

And he’s not even 3 years old!

For those who do not know, this “Doo-WUW” thing is currently shown on Singapore TV. Two good-looking youngsters are featured apparently telling audiences to “do what you what” or “doo-WUW” (which is the short form of “do what you want”). I nearly fainted when I saw the other tagline on their banner…you judge for yourself.

The trailer is rather short, perhaps a minute or so, but it is certainly catchy to the young. I can’t tell you more about this trailer or the main show because everytime this “Doo-WUW” thing comes on TV I barely pay any attention to it.

But obviously not my little son. He pays enough attention to regurgitate the words (I don’t think he even knows what he’s talking about when he says “Doo-WUW!”) in the same tone as spoken on TV.

My son’s little repertoire reminds me that really it is NEVER TOO EARLY to keep tabs on what TV programs our little ones are watching these days.

They really DO Learn What They See…and Hear .

(Here’s another parent airing her grievances about this DWUW thing …and more !!)