Just brought my 2.5 yr old son to watch Dora the Explorer Live at an events hall today.

My wife and I had bought the tickets a few weeks before and we have since been telling our son about it to prepare him for the show. He was quite excited although he had expressed a stronger desire to watch the Barney & Friends show which was also coming to town soon.

Now we have brought him to cinemas to watch 2 movies before and we know he has a fear of entering into dark places with loud noises. That was why we wanted to prepare him mentally about the Dora show, and that was also why we did not purchase the Barney tickets as well, in case he did not take too well to the Dora show.

We knew his weakness.

True to our belief, our dear son had cold feet at the hall entrance. The usher had barely collected our tickets when he froze, then protested and fought against going in. We held the queue up for a good few seconds because we could not persuade him in!

Needless to say, it took some effort to move on to our seats because he was still resisting with his constant wailing of wanting to "go home". We persisted because we wanted him to "go through" his fear, or to put it lamely, we did not want to waste the tickets!

To cut the story short, my wife and I took turns to carry him away from our seats because he was afraid (and yet wanted to watch the show). It was very easy at any point in time for either of us to become frustrated with such timidness. After all, other kids his age were thoroughly enjoying the show.

But I think my wife and I did alright in that we gave him enough hugs and assurances, and in acceding to his request to "get out" from our seats. Most important of all, we were conscious about not wanting to let him feel ashamed about being frightened and then comparing him with other kids.

The day’s event has brought me to a realisation that while we basked in the many talents & strengths our son has (there are just so many, hehehe) we have also got to embrace his weaknesses. We can’t just be proud of the things he does well, and shun or even reprimand "shameful" behaviors which he has no control over.

He Is Special

My son is special, and I am sure you would agree your child is too. So let’s embrace their strengths and weaknesses together. Don’t get angry, frustrated, shameful or worst, make him feel he is alone in his weakness.

After all, we have our own weaknesses too.

I believe this issue is getting better with time as newer generation parents are more well-informed about the effects of "touch therapy". Boys especially, were seldom offered physical displays of affection from their parents in earlier times.

It is important to note that a child who is never touched will likely feel ignored, unworthy and not loved.

Parents should thus bear in mind the importance of physical proximity with their child. Here are some ways of drawing close :

• Stroking their hair
• Patting
• Little kisses on the foreheads/cheeks
• Hugs
• Holding Hands
• Doing a nose-to-nose or forehead-to-forehead
• Affirmation of the things they did well
• Squeeze of their cheeks
• Constant affirmation of your love for them

Reflect daily on how you have drawn close to your child for the day.

HOW TO KEEP CHILDREN AWAY FROM TV

Well, we all know good habits beget good habits, bad habits beget bad habits. The Chinese puts it as “Jing (4) Zhu (1) Zhe (3) Che (4), Jing (4) Mo (4) zhe (3) Hei (1)”. It is almost impossible to keep children away from watching TV if we adults can’t keep ourselves from the goggle box for any considerable length of time.

The scene where an entire family is glued to the TV whilst having dinner is not an uncommon sight in countries where almost every family owns a TV (if not two or three or four…). To eradicate the problem, we must nip it in the bud. Adults ourselves must make it a habit NOT to turn on the TV as if we were switching on the lights at night. Or there are also some of us who like to switch on the TV to create some kind of background sound. These habits must go if we want to keep our children away from TV.

But the truth is, even if we ourselves aren’t hardcore TV addicts, our children may still be attracted to the box as bees to honey. What does one do in such circumstances? Well, there are no magic solutions. To pull them away from TV, we need to find alternative activities that would interest them enough to forget about the TV that sits in the living rooms.

What might these activities be?

For the curious and easily distractable 2-4 years old, we can try some arts and craft or anything that involves their little hands. Paper cutting, sponge painting, coloring, making faces out of paper plates, making crafts from ice-cream sticks and colored paper are all activities you could try. All you need is a little creativity. Playdoh is also q good activity for kids of this age.

For the school going children whose memory has developed to the point where they can remember the date and time of their many favorite TV programs, distracting them is a lot more challenging. You can consider setting up a reward chart, giving them points for not watching TV and letting them decide what prize they might get if they manage to keep their TV watching hours within certain limits. Or sit down with them to play some games. If all else fails, get them out of the house and into the outdoors for some well-needed exercise. Or sign them up for holiday classes. Once the TV gets out of sight, it gets out of mind.

The above hinges on the assumption that someone is at home to keep them away from the TV. If this is not possible, then get a TV that allows them to set how many hours the TV can be turned on per day.

At the end of the day, the TV is like a knife. Use it correctly, we can derive maximum benefits out of it. Use it wrongly, we can expect massive destruction. And this is not an overstatement.